Caregiving in the Big Society

I've recently taken on some caregiving responsibilities for a friend. I find it difficult to understand the reaction of people around me to this information. There are a number of puzzling points.

Several people have said things like "Can't someone else do that? It's not your responsibility." And I think, well, it's someone's responsibility, and I happen to be here. It seems to be regarded as some kind of optional extra, instead of a community responsibility for people to pitch in a little and make sure that this person has, say, clean socks.

It's hard to explain to people how this fits into my life. I'd like to be able to explain better what taking on this responsibility requires from me. The strongly negative words that many people seem to use to report their own experiences of caregiving doesn't seem appropriate for me in this situation.

A while back I wrote about being both a caregiver and a receiver of care, and re-reading it now, I note that I said very little about communities, except in terms of community attitudes.

The Tory party's "Big Society" policy is focused on scaling back national government in favour of local power, and volunteerism. For many people, volunteering time in their community is just part of being a person. My caregiving is "voluntary" in the sense that no money is involved (it's less clear that it's an "optional extra", for the reasons above). But this person needs more than just the support I can provide as a friend -- they need trained medical support too. The need more support than I alone can provide.

I wonder what would happen to someone who needed similar support if they were very isolated (as disabled people can easily become, because of mobility difficulties, communication difficulties, mental health, or other issues), or lived in a remote place, or lived in the sort of urban place where people don't talk to each other much. What good would volunteerism be if people cannot access support?

How would a volunteerist approach to caregiving provide the support for caregiving that caregivers need? Without appropriate support, caregivers can't provide the support that is needed, and then everyone loses out.

The Tory move to localism isn't intended to resource communities better -- it's a move to decrease funding, and decrease our notion of society as a nationally-constituted community. I am reminded of Thatcher's infamous claim that society doesn't exist. And this is why it matters. Our communities, whether locally or nationally conceived, have a responsibility to support those who need support.

And now that Margaret Thatcher is herself dependent, we might ponder at the irony of her entitlement to medical care that is paid for by tax, collected by the society she thought doesn't exist. The truth is this: everyone gets old and disabled unless they die first. We don't always get to plan the way things happen, so the next best thing is to preserve communities, and community support.

--IP