First Pride, take 2: safe spaces

So I'm still thinking about the Pride thing, and the feeling safe thing, and how that relates to activism more generally.

For many activist groups, safe space is a crucial concept. In my last post I highlighted one function of safe space, and that's safety from violence, but I was also thinking about the space in which we get to be whole people (sorry, I don't know how else to put that -- other suggestions for phrasing and clarification are welcome). Not just queers who are "flaunting it". Not just queers who are talking about or celebrating sex/sexuality. But also people who have kids, who don't have kids who have partners, who don't have partners, who have friends and political allies, who frequent club or who don't, who like sex or don't like sex, or who like different kinds of sex. Not just political queers. Not just angry (although being able to be angry is important too, see below). Not weird, not marginal, not Other People.

Safe spaces may be particularly important queer groups, where not everyone is out in their home/work/other significant setting; or who might be out but for being out means spending a lot of time and energy defending your own existence.

For some groups, being able to be angry is an important function. Many of us get a lot of flak for being angry about certain kinds of injustices. You know..."you're so shrill" or "good girls don't get angry", or "maybe if you weren't so bitter people would care what you're saying". Those sorts of comments work to silence legitimate anger, and worse, to silence the legitimate points that people are angry about. There are times I am angry about homophobia, and pretending I'm not isn't as constructive as some might believe.

For me, a safe space also means being able to respectfully challenge certain biases, and respond to those challenges constructively. I'm less sure of what I mean by this, or what makes a space conducive to this, so I'll just leave it at that, but contributions on this point are particularly welcome.

So what does safe space mean to you? I don't have answers to this, and these have been just a few initial thoughts off the top of my head about (some of) the sorts of things that help make a space safe for me. I hope you'll chime in with your own thoughts.

--IP